I think I'm becoming a pandemic...

...'cos I have people from all over the global pond asking after me. Okay, 3 people then. One is one of those number-crunchy accountant types, one is an acquaintance from Americky and the other is the rather salubrious and dapper naked Financier from old Auckland town. All are asking after my well being and if I plan to hop anywhere in the near future so, as my dad (whoever he was) once croaked, "If they want it, give it to 'em. Hard an' slimy."

Actually, I haven't do to much lately, just slobbing about awaiting summer and return of all those delicious flies. (As the song goes, "I've got a tongue that's 10 inches long and I've learnt to breath through me ears"). Just one trip sticks out in my vast amphibious head...I was invited to the opening of an art exhibition!. Well, it wasn't actually me but the female human's ex work colleague's girlfriend that did the inviting. Following this?

The artist in question can be found at www. charlotte-baynes.com. She is based in Cadiz (pronounced "Cadith") tho, I mean so, her art has a heavy Spanish influence. On the opening night she brought over a troupe/gang/harem (not sure of the collective noun here) of flamenco dancers to set the mood. Here's one of the senorita's doing her thing...

No, my flipper wasn't shaking, she was fast!

Naturally they all wanted to meet good ol' Kerm and requested a picture of me with them. Here I am being cradled lovingly by the artist herself...oh, and the lingo was no problemo, Jose as I taught myself how to say "Yes love, they are a cracking pair of maraca's"

Yes, we had a very good night, me and the dancers, although it was rather warm under all those lights and I was sweating like a blind lesbian in a fish shop. Still, one must sometimes suffer for one's art, I suppose.

I'm not sure where I will be hopping next, apart from Ireland in August. The 'uman beans are discussing Borneo as I think the female would like to swap 'him' for one of those orangy-tangy primate thingy's. Personally I would be amazed if she gets more than a bag of spanners for him. Perhaps we can get the Naked Financier to meet us halfway and, given his usual state of dress (or should I say undress) all we would need to do is fashion a loin-cloth by stapling a napkin to Jim and the twins and the locals will think he is a Sarawak tribesman.

Right must hop now 'cos me favourite soap opera is on (Frogoration Street).

Stay cool dudes and duds and anybody called Granny Mildew...

Kerm.

XXXX

p.s The male human's leukie count has dropped by a lot from 0.641 to 0.017. So, still not dead yet so I guess I will cancel the hearse...See ya later if I don't see you first!