Saturday, February 10, 2007

It's not easy being green...

...that is if you listen to all the doom-and-gloom global warming merchants that currently infest all of our news/radio/and interweb lives. Sitting here on my lily-pad I can easily dip the old flipper into the pond to literally 'test the waters'. Well, the H2O ain't any hotter or colder than a few years ago and the level has definitely not risen, I can still toe-dip the sludgy mud at the bottom.

And I am not sure about news reports that constantly go on and on about climate change. Does anyone else remember when what is now called' climate change' was once known by its more honest name 'The Weather'. Whenever warming is mentioned it is always in conjunction with the phrase 'since records began' here in England. The bit that the powers-that-be omit is the second half of that sentence, namely '...350 years ago' which, funnily enough, is known to be the time of the last mini ice-age Europe experienced.' What is wrong with these numpties? We are coming out of an ice-age so is it really a surprise that the planet is getting warmer? Recently the BBC had a report on the amount of ice breaking loose from the North and South Poles, the latter over-sized ice cubes daring to float up past New Zealand. Ice-shelves are collapsing all over if you believe the media but then, they always have. Ice-bergs have been around for thousands of years. They are nothing new! If it wasn't for an iceberg Kate Winslett would never have got her Oscar nomination! Palmer Peninsula in Antarctica is getting warmer but the main body of ice is getting cooler. The ice covering Greenland is getting thicker. Scientists have pinpointed 33 times when ice shelves have increased and retreated and will probably find more as they research more. Friends of the Earth blame humans and claim man is at fault. Friends of Science, a similar group but with solid facts and intelligence state that receding glaciers and calving of ice shelves aren't proof of global warming.

Apparently January 2007 was the second warmest January since, you guessed it, records began...The coldest being in January 1916. The logical line of enquiry for this is to ask what the hell humans were doing in 1916? No doubt the proliferation of gas-guzzling cars, millions of diesel-powered lorries and CFCs from all the refridgerators at the time were to blame...All that and WW1 too. Just to prove how hot it is here is a photo of me taken on the 8th of February during the current heatwave.

I can tell you, my chestnuts weren't roasting that day.

Scientists will tell anyone that will listen that a cow's bottom burp (aka fart, fluff, bum-squeak) is 17 times more potent as a greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide. Anybody killing the estimated 1.3 billion cows? Do people actually ask what catalytic converters on cars actually convert to make emissions better for the planet? No? Well, they take carbon monoxide from the engine and convert it into carbon dioxide, our favourite greenhouse gas!

The government and a few companies are cashing in on our carbon flipper-print if we fly anywhere. "Give us a bit more of your hard-earned readies"' they say,"and we will off-set you emissions." So what do they do. Plant trees. Trees are good at taking carbon from the air so it is imagined that this is a good thing. Fast forward 200 years and, assuming the tree has not been felled by a Pythonesque lumberjack in suspendies and a bra, the tree will die and rot and put carbon into the atmosphere. Even if humans chop it down before that the chances are the tree will eventually be burned giving off...I'll let you fill in the gap. The highest proportion of gases come from rotting vegetation so perhaps we should destroy all the rain forests along with the cows.

Has anyone ever seen an unbiased balanced news report on global warming? Recently a major UK news channel sent a team to the South Pole to report on the nasty deeds of humankind. Needlessly to say they flew there but on the first day the reporter, with a sound-man and three scientists sped by an iceberg in a dirigible. Seconds later a big chunk if ice fell off of the 'berg. "That", said the reporter rather smugly," is evidence, if you need it, of global warming in action." No it isn't you great dozy excuse for a human! All that proved was that you had destroyed a piece of iceberg with your boat's wash by flying by at a great rate of knots whilst shoving diesel fumes into a pristine atmosphere just so as you can get a story.

Most agree that we should be nicer to our planet but all this bad information drives this frog crazy. Recycling good, Al Gore scare-mongering bad. Okay?!

The frog has now left the soap-pad (Amphibious version of a soap-box).

I feel better for that...time for a few flies...

Stay cool gang


Anonymous said...

More great insde news on this:

naked financier said...

All hail the knowledge Kermit. Kermit for supreme ruler of the world!!!!

If the media had never been invented would there still be global warming?

Here in good old New Zealand we have had the coldest January since records began. And records only began in this part of the world in 1914. There has also never been a record of icebergs visiting NZ until this year. So why did they visit?? Probably because they were lonely or because some dim witted UK Journalist scared them away in their boat while reporting on global warming. My theory is the icebergs heard the journalist say something about it being warmer and though 'bugger this I'm off north for the summer where its warmer!"