Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Does L.A. mean Los Angeles or Largely Abnormal..?

Greetings blog fans.

Well, the 10 hour flight from Fiji to L.A.was a bit of a long haul (ho ho!) and we arrived at our waterside hotel around 5pm Saturday the 8th July. Now here's a weird thing - 1800hrs 8th July we sat and had a final beer in Fiji before flying to L.A. We crossed the International Date Line 1 hr after take-off and then the Equator one hour after that. Then we had a meal also at 1800hrs 8th July but this time in L.A. Confused? We know what Dr Who feels like (says Trish).

Mr Steele would have liked our hotel which we reckon was built in the early Seventies and may well have featured in several porn movies since. The decor seemed to have not been updated since then. The bed still had the old-fashioned springs which may still have creaked. We cannot possibly say...although we are not sure if the hole in the wall was actually a smoke alarm or a concealed camera. Coming to a web-site near you...'Bouncing White Bums in L.A'...

Anyways, back to L.A., the alternative version.After shrugging off our jet-lag we decided (on Sunday) to take a stroll along Venice Beach to go weirdo-spotting. As it turns out going normal spotting would have provided more of a challenge. There was a large amount of flesh on show and as one man said to us, "You know you are in Weirdsville when the men are showing more flesh than the women." Highlight of this particular excursion was a well-built black-man with a pair of very tight leopard-skin swimmers on that looked like an elastic band. We suspect some strategically placed socks also played a part. So, passing by a man begging by sign saying 'Will work for marijuana' and many fortune-tellers (Did they know we were coming?) we perused and perved our way along the beach to Santa Monica Pier and back again, returning with the look of a couple of lobsters. The day was hazy (nowt to do with marijuana) and the sun deceptive. Still, at least it now looks as though we have been on holiday now. With regard to L.A. women (Helen) we decided not to risk approaching any 'cos there was a fair chance they were probably men. We finished the day with a nice meal at L' hotel du Porn and spent time in the bar chatting to a couple from Sligo who know Anthony's (Trish's brother) future wifey. Small world, huh? Below is Kerm on Venice Beach looking towards Santa Monica Pier...



Monday. Another airport taking a flight L.A. to New York. L.A. is proably the worst airport we have been to. Despite our flying internally in Yankieville we still took an hour and a half to get through check-in and security. The staff treated everyone as though they were terrorists. At one point Trish was asked to remove her shoes (a brave move at the best of times) and as she bent to begin this process the female guard (for guard read : wassock) snapped, 'Do it. Do it now or I will send you to the detention area'. Ohhh! Touchy. Finally we made our escape and landed in New York 2000hrs on Monday 10th tired. Of course by the time we had got to the hotel and eaten we were both wide awake (thanks jet-lag) and sat watching bad American TV until 3 a.m. This morning we took a stroll around and, as we are just around the corner from the Empire State Building) took a trip to the top. It is not as high as we thought it maybe but at least Kermit got his picture taken.

Deckers please note: I forgot to bring the necessary cable to transfer pictures to the computer so will upload them on our return next Tuesday. Glad Philomena and Massa have moved into Castle Hamilton okay. Tell 'em Trish will ring soon. With regard to the fridge magnets we have at last three more for you. It seems our cunning plan is working: If we buy enough you may ask us to stop doing so...Oh, Old Man Cod, if you are reading this did you get yours? Are you dead? If so are we in the will?

Dan, if you are reading this drop us a line as to which DVD you were after and we will try to obtain it. Can you ask Philomena if she has Aunt Lil's old New York address as Trish has a feeling our hotel is nearby. Thanks.
Pennie and Bill, we trust all is well and that Poppy is good (Did she get her postcard?). Speak next week.
Mr Steele and Vigo Woman: The first will never be a saint...The second knows far too much about John Denver. Closet fan, perhaps?


Bestest regards to all from a hot and sweaty New York.
Paul, Trish and Kermy
XXXX

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi You three, Sorry to bring CML news on to the blog but thought you might like to get in early as places will be much sort after this info is from UK site, there are only 150 places this year, we have sent off forms and chq already. Will do same for you if you want us to.

"The Manchester based haematologist who is organizing the logistics of the Saturday Seminar will begin to accept bookings in August when he returns from his holidays.
In the meantime he is asking for “expressions of interest” as he calls it to be forwarded to the following email address: manchester-cml@hotmail.co.uk whilst he is away."

Hope the NY shopping is as good as Singapore Trish, can't wait to see all the goodies.

Love to all
Pennie and Bill.

Anonymous said...

Closet fan of John Denver? Thought that was my closely guarded secret. Street cred finally shattered. Self-respect in complete tatters.

Anonymous said...

Hey Paul, Trish& Kermit,we are back in Tass (brr....) a bit chilly. Marlene & I are having dinner together (at my place) no cocktail in sight. Possibly because there is no freshly squeezed juice or a Fijian to serve it to us. (we can only but dream). We have decided that we will probably be back there again but will be a different way of doing it. Loved the people there. When you have a chance would love to see a copy of the photos. Marlene has already reached back to reality and I do that on Monday. Thinking of you both and hope that all continues to go well. Regards Anne & Marlene

Anonymous said...

New York, New York - so good they visited it twice!

Anonymous said...

Having visited Libra@Virgo should I add anything to the John Denver comments?